Friday, April 13, 2007

Loving A Bad Girl

Here is a letter than one of our visitors sent. I have changed his name to protect them. I have no idea why he put is real name on it, maybe he really does like abuse. We only publish letters with your permission guys. If you do not want a email to be published then please state this clearly on the letter. Hopefully these problem letters can help other people out there that might be having the same problems with the opposite sex. Most problems can be talked through in our Member forums which are bustling with Mens-Network staff and fellow Mens-Network members who are more than willing to help you.

Dear Dudes,

I have this problem. I thought I would come to you for some advice. I don't know what to do, but I know that I am in a strange situation. Sometimes I want to get out of it, but other times I find it to be a real turn on.I met her in a bar. I was new to the area and I went to this bar that was near my house. At the time I didn't know it was a bar for bikers. I went in a few times and had a few drinks. I really liked it there. It was a manly type of place where I could blow off steam with other guys. I have never been around bikers, so this was a new experience for me. I have always liked motor cycles, but was afraid to ride one.

I met this nice looking girl and we started to date. She is the leather and Harley kind of woman. I kind of liked having her take me out for long rides on her bike. I have never done anything like this. At first all I was interested in was her lifestyle. I had no interested in her. One day we went to the bar and had a few drinks. She came back to my place and we had sex. Shortly after I moved out of my place and moved in with her. I really didn't know her too well, but I was interested in her lifestyle.

I soon found out that she is the bad girl type. She smokes cigarettes all day long. She doesn't wear panties. I thought I would dig a chick that doesn't wear panties, but she gets a lot of yeast infections. She drinks hard liquor all the time. She has an anger level so low, she will get pissed off if I look at her the wrong way. If she was a man, some guys would call her a tough ass. She won't take shit from no one. She tells me when and what to cook. She tells me when I need to clean the house. I am her slave.

I don't mind that stuff that much dudes, I really don't. What bothers me is how she acts in public. She acts like a total guy. I mean we will go over to my parents house for dinner and she will burp while she eats. One time we were in a fancy restaurant and she let out a big wet fart in front of everyone. It was so bad, there was a wet spot in her pants. I was so embarrassed that I asked for a doggie bag so I could eat the rest of my meal at home.

What should I do?

Signed, 'Stupid Fool' (That is what you get for signing with your real name!)

I think what you have is a strong case of the bad girl syndrome. Yes folks, we all will get turned on by a woman like this some time in our lives. Usually we get turned on by that tom boy in school and it doesn't go any further than that. I guess its like getting the chicken pox, it is best to get it while you are young. There isn't much you can do with these types of women. Uusally if you say too much to them they will leave you. You need to decide how much you can take.

If you can't take any more of this, you need to leave. I know that some men find it kinky to be with a bad girl. They like it when a woman tells them what to do. I'm sure some men would love your woman, yeast infections and all. I'm not much into this myself. I like you, find the motor cycle lifestyle to be interesting, but not worth per suing. I don't think I would last ten minutes on a motor cycle or on your girlfriend.

There isn't a whole lot I can tell you that you don't already know. I think you know what you want to do, but you don't have the balls to do it. Maybe that is why you got involved with a woman like this. You don't know what you want in life, so you want someone who will tell you what you want. There isn't much of a chance you will be able to talk much sense into a woman like this. She will be stuck in her ways and nothing is going to change you. You can try though. It doesn't hurt, unless you know she is going to bitch slap you if you piss her off. I would tell her that you need some room and you don't like being told what to do all the time.

If this doesn't work, then I would leave. There is no reason to put up with this sort of thing. Chances are she is taking out her problems on you. You can't be a punching bag all your life. Chances are if you split, then someone will fill your place. Let some other guy put up with her stuff.

Is She Cheating?

We have all seen or heard it before. Women are always accusing men of cheating on them. Sometimes they are right, but most of the times they are wrong. Not only are they wrong, but it gets tiresome hearing them complain that we are cheating when we really aren't. It is no surprise to you, women cheat. They do it just like men do. We would like to think that we are monogamous, but this really isn't the case. We are animals, animals with a desire to spread our genes. Women cheat for different reasons. Us men cheat because we want to pass on our genes. We want to pass along our family line.

This is common in the animal world. A woman cheats because she wants the best partner she can find. She only wants to bear the child of someone who has the best genes. This is true in the animal world and it is true in the human world.

Just because we have the ability to walk on two legs and use our thumbs to hold tools, doesn't mean that we aren't animals. We still eat meat, hell some of us still eat raw meat. We go out in nature and hunt and fish. It should be no surprise that we are still animals.

There are ways for you to tell if your woman is cheating on you. Don't make the same mistake that she makes... Don't accuse her of cheating every time she is away from you. Unless you have some hard proof, hold your breath. Here we will show you how to tell if she is cheating so you have the hard proof you need.

We all know that women tend to get more lax regarding the under clothes they wear after they have been in a long term relationship. They wear stuff that they feel is comfortable and not what she thinks will turn you on. If her closet looks like the outfits that you would see women in a nursing home have, you already know what I am talking about.

If she suddenly starts to wear sexy panties and bras, that isn't good news. Sometimes women will wear special under clothes from time to time to turn you on, but in a long term relationship that rarely happens. If she is always wearing hot panties and bras, that is a good sign she is cheating. If she wears the type of things she wore when she first met you, I would watch out.

How is your sex life? If she stops having sex with you, then you know something is up. Use common sense here. If she is having her period or not feeling well, then of course, you won't be getting any sex. But, if she has a ton of sex appeal and she isn't interested for a long period of time, that is a sign. It is a sign that she is getting her sexual needs met by someone else. If this is the case, dump her right away. This not only is wrong to you, but exposes you to diseases. She might not care about you, but you need to care about yourself.

Do you feel that your relationship is a long term one? How does she react to that? Does she blow it off, or even worse laugh? If she does, there is a good chance she is cheating. If she is cheating, she has no need for a long term relationship with you. Why would she need to? After she gets her fill of you she will dump you for the other guy.

Does she argue about anything and everything? Does she bitch at you about anything and everything? Does your breathing get on her nerves? This can be a sign that not only your relationship is about to end, but she is cheating. She will treat you like shit because she feels that way about her cheating. A woman's personality can be as thin as an onion skin.

Unless you are blind, you should be able to pick up this one. If your woman is spending more time that usual away from the house. If she is never home, she has to be some where. If there is a valid excuse, for example she has to take care of her ill mother, don't get alarmed. On the other hand, if there is no reason for her to be gone long periods of time, then something is up. If it is worth it to you, you can hire a private investigator to see what she is up to. Also, a friend might do this for some beer money. Try to get photos of her with her other lover. This way when she says that she isn't cheating, you can throw the pictures right into her face.

If you suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you, sniff her clothes. If you smell a cologne that isn't like yours or an unfamiliar scent, something could be up. Make sure she hasn't been hugging her father or something like that. Take a whiff, if it smells like a man and there is no reason why should be smelling that way, she could be cheating.

Men and women both cheat. That maybe a surprise to some, but not to most of us. No man should put up with this kind of behavior. You need to dump your cheating woman as fast as you can. Don't ever take a woman back who has cheated on you. She will do it again and again. Stand up for yourself, you are the only one that will do it.

A Great Lover?

Most men aren't really clear on what they think a great lover is, but most would like to become one. So what make women sigh and tell their girlfriends about a guy after the first time they make love? What makes a man so appealing and successful with many women? First off, women like to be listened to. They like to feel that they are communicating with their partner, and they are much more likely to feel special and relaxed when the man they are worth focuses on them. And feeling more relaxed can lead touch better sex. Also a man that pays honest attention to his date can make her feel like she is important and not just another body to him.

What's more, most men that women consider great lovers really truly LIKE women. That makes a big difference. The average man in the street makes jokes about women, and doesn't see them as friends. A man that makes women feel liked is going to be a man women like.

Also a man who touches women gently and doesn't rush when he is kissing, touching or stroking makes a woman feel good. So many men want to get through the kissing and the foreplay and go straight to the sex, but women don't feel that way. It makes them feel less relaxed and less like having sex at all. It certainly isn't the way to excite and stimulate most women.

And of course, a great lover knows about the female body. He knows that most women are turned on by gentle bites on the neck and throat while being held from behind. He knows that gently pulling her head back with her hair while kissing her is very exciting for a lot of women.

He also pays attention during sex, and listens to the sounds his lover makes - or doesn't make. He works his way gradually to her nipples and her inner thighs. If something makes her pull back a little, he is paying enough attention to notice, and will stop immediately.

A lover a woman remembers afterward doesn't just stick in his penis and hammer at her. He doesn't stop talking softly to her the minute that intercourse is achieved. Unfortunately most men do.

What really keeps most men from being great lovers - lovers that women remember with a smile for years - is that they have a goal - and they act as if the woman is a means to that goal. They are not sharing an experience or pleasure, they are trying to get off.

Next time you are on a date with a woman, try listening to her - really listening. Talk with her, get to really know her. Enjoy her company, don't focus on the question of whether you will have sex with her later or anything other than the time you are spending with her at that very moment. If you treat every minute you spend with her in this way, and you do not rush, and you make her feel special, she is going to feel great being with you - and that is the most important first step toward being a great lover.

Sex Without Intercourse

Kissing, cuddling and touching are an important part of lovemaking and couples that run their lives in this way use every opportunity to share such affection. The slightest touch or pat can be worth a thousand words and a hug at just the right time makes words redundant. Sometimes these little intimacies simply say, "I love you", yet on other occasions it is clear they are preludes to some sort of sexual activity. The couple in tune with each other know without saying, which is which, and use such teasing, even perhaps to some level of arousal, as a sort of work-up to intercourse later. In this article here we explore how you can make love to your partner without physically having sex, yes men it can be done.


This kind of "lovemaking" then becomes like an extended foreplay both know will end in lovemaking some time in the near future.

If you run your intimate life in this way, lovemaking takes on a rather different level of importance. It is now no longer the be-all and end-all of the intimacies you share. This means that you will cope better with the ups and downs of your sexual appetites and, mutually attuned, detect sexual interest early and know how to act on it. Then, when you do have intercourse it is much more meaningful because it takes place against a background of loving interest in one another.

Not only are inequalities and variations in sexual appetite better coped with, but the occasional failure, rather than becoming a disaster, is kept in perspective because it is understood that the relationship has far more going for it than whether or not genital contact is always good.


Lovers of longstanding sometimes find they communicate without words; they seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling. Shared secrets help to make this a secret society. The woman may whisper to her man while they are on the dance floor, that she's wearing his favourite underwear, for example. "Accidentally" touching your lover's body in a certain place or in a particular way can have a devastating effect. Some couples can achieve the same impact with just a look.

Many couples have a private language, that they use even in front of others, as they tell one another about their feelings, arousal, or their anticipation of erotic things to come, which all add to the excitement. All of this makes such a couple much less likely to suffer from jealousies because they flirt with each other and look to one another to answer their needs. They do not then see members of the opposite sex as threatening because they know that what they have between them is vastly more valuable than anything a quickie relationship could offer.

If all of this seems nothing more than a fantasy to you, there are ways of improving things: Start of by going back to courtship behaviour; many couples have never really courted - taking every opportunity to show love in different ways. Give one another presents for no reason. They don't have to be expensive; it's the thought that matters; kiss more; telephone to say, "I love you." Leave love-notes around where they'll be found by your lover; go out with one another as if it were your first date as teenagers. Really try to please one another as if you were just starting to date. You may be surprised how much you've taken each other for granted over the years and how stale the caring and love for one another has become.

It is helpful in any loving relationship to remember to bear in mind the airline motto "we never forget you have a choice". There are many couples that let things slip, perhaps year after year, becoming more and more lazy and thoughtless only to find when they go back to courtship they've all but forgotten how to deal with one another in this way. As with so many things in life practice makes perfect and over the weeks you'll become more proficient at courting one another. With luck and effort, the combination of making courtship a priority, and your increased experiences of life, will reap you a far richer harvest than would have been possible when you were first going out at the beginning of your relationship.


One of the most fruitful ways of making all this happen is to organise sensual holidays. A sensual holiday can last from an evening to a weekend. The main purpose is to get away from your normal day-to-day routine both in and out of bed and to really court one another.

You can prepare for the holiday beforehand to get best out of it. Ideas include: the uses of herbal aphrodisiacs such as ginseng, yohimbe; breakfast in bed; one sensual massage; lovemaking in an unusual place; a novel type or position of lovemaking you know your lover would like; or an evening devoted to your lover's every whim. Each couple will have their own ideas as to what suits them, or they've always wanted to do.

Send your tokens some days before the holiday so your lover has time to prepare (if necessary). This also helps build up excited anticipation for the holiday. Remember, none of this need be expensive - the whole thing can take place at home with perhaps a special dinner or outing just for the two of you. Whatever you do and wherever you do it, the main thing is to give yourselves over to one another totally and to aim to do things that please and delight. Talk about it afterwards to see what worked well and what didn't. It's best to take it in turns to arrange such holidays so each lover has the opportunity to call the shots and decide what they want.


Sensual massage is a wonderful way of lovemaking without intercourse. This form of loving contact is often underestimated. There are few things a couple can experience together that allow them to be more in touch with themselves, and to communicate at every level than a loving, sensual massage. Whether or not this becomes an erotic massage is up to you, but even if one does lead to the other you still don't have to end up having intercourse - you could stimulate each other or simply cuddle and kiss.


Sight, sound, smell and taste are powerful aphrodisiacs - exploit them to the full. Right from babyhood most of us use fewer of our senses than we might. In learning to please one another without intercourse it can be helpful to look at how each sense could be better used to serve lovemaking. Here are some ideas:


Use perfume, perfumed soaps, scented oils for massage, burning joss sticks, flowers, room perfumes, and anything else (not all at once!) that helps enhance your sense of smell. Remember, if you perfume yourself too heavily you'll mask the natural odours that are such a turn-on for your lover. Make sure you are clean and washed but not so squeaky clean your natural smells are obliterated. Learn, perhaps for the first time, how each part of your lover's body smells.


The lover's sound can be delicious as you make love. The little groans, sighs and moans that say "I love you" are all valuable cues to how things are going. With the lights off, learn to recognise how your lover's sexual arousal cycle is progressing just by sound alone. Take a delight in the sounds of your bodies reacting with each other. Use beautiful music to accompany lovemaking.


Get to know how your lover tastes by licking all over. Taste mouths, faces, sweat, genital secretions and so on. This is intimately tied up with the smelling exercise since taste and smell are so closely interlinked. Experiment with all kinds of tactile sensations using not only your bodies, but also foods, clothing, vibrators and so on.

Sex In The City

It is a common belief that women use sex to gain love. She knows you are on the fence about having a relationship with her, but if she puts out, she knows she will get you. This was true in the past and somewhat true today. Women who live in big cities tend to be looking less for romance and more for sex. As compared to a woman in a small city who is more likely looking for love. I'm not sure why it is so different with women who live in different atmospheres. I suspect that some of it has to do with the lifestyle of the ladies in question. I think that a woman who lives in a big city is more likely to be career oriented and less time to fuck.
A woman in a small town, is looking for long term romance because she has more free time on her hands. I also think that the woman in the smaller city doesn't want to be known as a slut. If you live in a bigger city, chances are you won't know half of the town.

When women go out to bars and end up engaging in a one night stand, it isn't just because it happened. Us men like to think that we put the moves on a woman and we won her over. That we hunted the prey and we bagged it without a ounce of defeat. This isn't really true. Chances are if you get a one night stand, she left the house looking to have sex. Before she got in the door at the bar she knew she wanted to have sex with someone. Women are becoming more like men. They are becoming the hunter and not the hunted. Times have changed my friend, there isn't a whole lot we can do about that. All we can do is work with what we got.

Here is some tips for keeping that one night stand so you can have sex again and again. Some men like the idea of having sex with a woman and not having an emotional bond with her. Most men call these escorts or whores, but if you play your cards right you won't have to pay for sex.

Some good tips:

Be a gentleman. After you both have your orgasms tell her how nice the experience was. Walk her to your door and make sure to smile a lot. If you are at her place, make sure to tell her that you had a great time before you leave.

Don't make the first move. If she is naked on the bed, there is no reason to go ape shit on her. Take your time, let her dictate how the night will go. Listen to her every whimper and moan to see what she likes. Work extra hard to please her. Think of this as an audition, if you perform well, you will get to come back.

Blow her mind. You should try to make the sex as good as possible. Don't forget that women are mental creatures, make love to her mind and body. Makes sure that there is no stone unturned when it comes to pleasing her. If you succeed, you might get seconds.

Exchange numbers. After you are done having sex, exchange phone numbers. Don't call her though, let her call you. If she doesn't call you, oh well, at least you got a good lay out of it. Chances are, if you done a good job, she will call you back.

Keep it light and smooth. Make sure that your sex is nothing more than a hobby with her. If you do fall in love with her, don't let her know. This might cause her to push herself away from you because she isn't looking for a relationship. Be glad you are getting some action.

The downfall in this kind of sex is that one person would get emotionally attached. The problem is, when only one person does this. If it is a one sided thing, then chances are someone is going to get hurt. If you are able to go into this with an open mind then I would suggest that you do so. If you can't, I don't think I would per sue it more than a one night stand. All you are going to do is hurt yourself.

I have known many women who try to do one night stands and end up getting themselves hurt. What they end up trying to do is win over a hot stud that they think they couldn't have gotten unless they put out. Once they put out, they realize that they made a mistake and their feelings are hurt. In the worst case, you could have a nut on your hands. She might make your life a living hell if you don't fall in love with her. We have all known women like this. They will do anything and everything in hopes that you fall in love with them. I have known women who get pregnant on purpose to try to get the man to love them. They don't realize that all they love is what is between their legs, not what is between their ears.

These types of sexual flings can be good. I hate to beat the old drum, but I don't think I can talk enough about this. If you are going to engage in this sort of sexual behavior you always need to make sure you use a condom. Don't fall for when she says she is on the pill or she can't have babies. Just because she is on the pill, doesn't mean that she won't spread diseases. The pill doesn't keep her from getting diseases and it won't you either.

As always, try to have fun. You need to get out and enjoy life when ever you can. Sex can be great if the people are open enough to enjoy it. Protect yourself, protect her, and know what is at stake before you pound her. That will keep you safe.

Paying For Sex?

Week after week you see the money in your bank account going down and down. You are spending a lot of money on your date, you are having a good time, you are getting some action. Everything seem great doesn't it? It all seems great until you realize that you will have to get a second job just to afford the dates. You are enjoying yourself and you don't want the dates to end. What do you do? Is she a whore or a nice girl? That sounds blunt, but it is something you need to ask yourself. While she might not be a whore on the corner, you very well might be paying money for sex. Men do this all the time and don't realize it. Pay attention to the times you get laid. Do you mostly get laid after you spend a lot of money on her? If the answer is yes, then chances are you are paying for sex and not knowing it.

Ask her about her ex's. What kind of jobs they had. If her last few ex's had high paying jobs, chances are she is a gold digger. She doesn't want you, she doesn't like your company, all she likes is your wallet.

I often find that older men get trapped into this. They are searching for a young lady to make them forget they are old. Chances are that at their age, they have built up a nice savings and have a good job. This is pay dirt for the gold digger.

If a woman senses that you are very lonely, she might also try to gold dig. They know that you will do almost anything to be with her. Really, you are paying for the sex. That is all that you doing. That, and you are paying for someone to lie to you.

This might sound like an odd suggestion, but hear me out. If you read closely, it will all make sense.

Have you ever thought about visiting an escort. Now, pick up your jaw and give me a few seconds to explain myself. I know that going to these 'working girls' is against everything that your mother taught you.

You are paying for the sex any ways. What is the difference really? Do you think that because one calls themselves a whore and another one is lying to you, makes that much of a difference?

I know what you are thinking. 'There are too many STDs out there'. You are right there is. There is also a risk of getting something even if you use a condom. This is also true for having sex with your gold digging friend. There is no way around it.

There are many types of sex that you can do with an escort that is almost risk free. Here are some suggests for types of sex acts that you can do.

Oral sex. We all love oral sex. If you wear a condom, this is almost risk free. Have her suck it twice, you will be glad you did!

Masturbation. It is almost impossible for you to get an STD with the escort masturbating you. Enjoy it. There are some great ways that she can spice this up so it feels good as gold. She can cuddle your testicles with one hand while she jerks away with the other hand. Just think of the stuff you like to do, when she does it, it will feel much better.

In the long run you will be saving money if you go to an escort. Often times the very good looking ones cost at least 100 an hour. If you think about it, even getting laid two times a week, you are still saving money.

The escort won't ask you to pay her 400 dollar phone bill. She won't ask you for money to fix her car. It is purely sex for money. That is it. You don't have to call her in the morning to tell her how special it was for you!

All in all, be thrifty with your money. If you are paying for sex, get the most bang for your buck.

Paranoid (Cheating)

Have you ever cheated on your woman? Many men have, but few will admit to it. Sometimes I think this is the worst thing a person can do to another. I'm sure that you could argue that killing someone is worse, but when you cheat, you are killing them emotionally. A person who has went through such an experience, never comes back the same. I really do think that being cheated on, changes a person. Women view cheating on many levels. Some are quick to jump the gun while other women are more thoughtful when it comes to it. In this article, we will discuss what a woman views as cheating.

Most women view having sex with another woman as cheating. This should be common sense. Though, I have heard many times where a man will claim that he didn't know it was cheating. He will make up some lame ass excuse about how he thought the relationship was on the rocks.

Having sex with someone and cheating on your woman is plain wrong. Think of it from this perspective. If you catch a disease and come home and sleep with her, then you will give it to her. Your 'fun' with your mistress might be great, but your woman has nothing to do with it. By risking her health, you are doing something worse than cheating, you could end up killing her.

If you aren't getting any sex in a relationship or it has turned south, you need to get out of it. You have no right to expose someone else to diseases. It is your responsibility to do something about it. You are an adult now, you need to do things on your own.

Some women view kissing as cheating as well. In my mind, it is cheating. I'm not sure how someone can justify getting aroused enough by someone to kiss them and not think they are cheating.

If aunt Betsy comes over from Alaska and she kisses you on the cheek because she hasn't seen you for a long time, that isn't cheating. Of course if it is a relative or close friend, then its not cheating. If it is out of lust it is. Chances are, kissing will only lead to other things.

If you are kissing another woman, it brings up a lot of questions. It would sound to me that you aren't in the stage that you are having sex with this woman, but it is coming soon. Most men aren't able to kiss a woman without having sexual thoughts.

The same questions apply in my mind as if you were having sex with someone else. There must be some aspect of the current relationship you are in that is lacking or you wouldn't be doing such things. It is better to fix these problems than it is to run away from them. All you will be doing is ensuring that nothing positive happens.

I know that it might be hard to believe, but some women believe that if you are just friends with a woman, then you must be cheating. To some women this is cheating, thought I think this is going a little too far.

Women feel that if you are confiding in another woman, then that is cheating. If you are telling her things that you would have told your girlfriend, you are cheating. They think that you should pour your heart and soul into them instead of this other woman. They might be right to a certain degree, but this isn't cheating. You should be able to go to your girlfriend and talk to them about anything and everything, but there are things you can't talk about to her. Try talking to her about how bitchy she is during her period, you will soon find out that you can't talk about anything and everything.

Some women will always think their men are cheating. Regardless how you try to prove yourself, they will always be lurking around the corner trying to catch you in the act. I have known several women like this. I have even known one man like this. I worked with his wife in a small office. She told him that we were talking every day at lunch and he flipped out. He accused us of having sex together. That is a bit extreme, but people do react this way.

I would suggest that if your woman constantly thinks you are cheating, you need to talk to her about it. Some people do act in suspicious manners, while some women have this fixation that all men are scum of the earth. You need to decide which camp she is in.

Some women constantly nag and bitch that you are cheating on them when you aren't. I think sometimes this is because they were cheated on in the past and are afraid that it will happen to them again. Other times, I think they are paranoid and have emotional problems.

Needless to say, regardless of why she thinks this, there is a problem. If in fact you are cheating on her, you already know what the problem is. But, if she is fixed on the idea that you are cheating and it is ruining your life, you need to get out. This is one of the worst forms of harassment there is. There is no need for you to have to put up with this sort of thing. This is the type of thing in a relationship that will drive a man to kill himself or to drink.

If you are cheating, cut off your penis. You are a worthless bastard who only thinks of yourself. If you aren't cheating and she always complains that you are, find out why she feels this way. If she is just paranoid, dump her. Life is too short for her games.